Moving Through Hurtful Posts

In the movie The American President, the President of the United States, Andrew Shepherd (played by Michael Douglas), has a wonderful monologue at the end of the film where he talks about what it means to be an American. In the middle of that monologue he says:

"...America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours..."

Great stuff.

I remind myself of these lines sometimes when I read purposefully-hurtful blog posts by mysterious authors and comment-makers who choose to remain nameless. People can truly write lots of hurtful stuff. I guess from a writing perspective, it's easy to be mean and passive aggressive when you're writing from the seclusion of your back bedroom or the anonymity of your own computer.

As blog participation continues to expand I fear this type of writing will, sadly, increase. Which is a shame because non fact-based, mean-spirited posts can hurt people and will not lead to further discussion of an issue like weblogs are supposed to do. Hate breeds anger which closes communication.

I think participating in a Web 2.0 world is a lot like being the American that Andrew Shepard describes... It's a wonderful thing, but you gotta want it and you must make yourself ok with the negative stuff that can be said and continue moving forward.

So if you find yourself, or your company, on the receiving end of a non fact-based, mean-spirited, anonymous post, don't get too bummed about it. Instead, try doing something a little different: think of one of your personal favorite brands or celebrities... things that you cherish and respect and defend publicly. Then, go directly to Google and type a hurtful-based search of that same thing, such as, "I hate _____." Or "_____ sucks."

When you do this you'll most likely see lots of people who (surprisingly) hate exactly what you love. And when you click on those posts you'll most likely say to yourself, "Wow, I'm not like this person at all on this issue," or "I can't believe someone out there truly feels this way!"

After reading some of that stuff, you'll probably feel a tighter bond with what you love and relax your anger about the blog that got you so riled up in the first place. You'll realize that anger exists everywhere and that, really, no brand of significance can avoid it.

I love Southwest Airlines, and one day I typed in "I hate Southwest" just to see what happened. There's some true SWA haters out there. I don't care. I love SWA. Fly them all the time. Those people just have different worldviews than me. I did the same for Jeep, and there's Jeep haters out there too, which seemed really odd to me... Hating Jeeps?

Be sure, you can find utter disdain out there for everything--from Target to Oprah.

Point is, there is no perfectly loved brand. No perfectly loved celebrity. There can't be. By pure definition if something is strong enough to love, those things that make it lovably strong are the same things that can induce hate by others.

For brands, you'll never make everyone happy. So participate in the dialog, be sure to correct factual errors and address misinformation, but don't let personal hatred by others get the best of you. Be proud of what you offer. Play to your core. Introduce yourself to new people who should love you once they get a chance to know you. Entice those on the fence. Build a club. Build a tribe. Because those who choose to only see the negative in what you offer, probably can't be won back. They'll keep seeing the negative they want to see, regardless of your good actions.

Conclusion: Look inside yourself and see how you can execute flawlessly and take care of your customers with love to build the largest, most powerful club you can. Then move forward through Web 2.0 with pride and confidence knowing that, all the while, your club is on your side.

Comments

[Cy Klassen]

Well said! Thank you for this. I will reference your article next time I start to lose my cool over a hurtful post.

[John Drake]

hi Cy. glad to hear this post adds value and may help... thank you for the comment and thanks for reading...

[Jess]

Great points John! I'm definitely bookmarking this entry to come back to when the hater-posters emerge (well - not really emerge, since they are usually anonymous)
Appreciate your insight - and here's to playing to your core and building your tribe.

[John Drake]

thanks Jess! glad you enjoyed... i hope this post continues to help out as time goes by. thanks for reading!

[Brian Critchfield]

My favorite line from that speech is "My name is Andrew Shephard and I AM the president."

Sometimes, that is what makes great discussion online is the differing opinions, as long as they are respectful. I remember a blog post I wrote one time about how I believed podcasts would one day replace webinars for marketing purposes. It was referenced in the Church of the Customer blog and generated almost 2000 hits and a hundred comments (especially from webinar consultants). It touched a nerve one way or the other for many people.

Sometimes the controversial posts are the most discussed and the most referenced. However, you have to set the rules. I never delete negative comments unless they are just flat out rude and disrespectful. But you create the tone on your blog.

As a former stand-up comic, I have learned to treat them like hecklers. Give them a little of their own medicine, ridicule them a bit, and they shut up.

Web 2.0 is about conversation. It isn't always agreeable, but as long as it remains respectful, it is progress in my opinion.

Great post, John. Great observations.

[John Drake]

great comment, brian. didn't know you were a former stand-up comic! really like the reference comparing that to Web 2.0 and the negative comment/heckler conversation... an excellent way of looking at it. thanks for adding!